Soccer Sucks!

Soccer fans are idiots. This is the proof.

HALL OF FAME LETTERS:

From: Nakia Pearson <theeastsidemafia@hotmail.com>
To: by_sending_this_email_i_agree_that_soccer_sucks@soccersucks.net
Subject: Soccer
Date: 03/06/2003

I absolutely LOVE this website. I don't necessarily hate the game, but i do
agree that it is the most insane form of torture that one can sit through.
One big problem that I have is the claims of idiots who allege that American
sports are inferior to soccer. Well, here's a breakdown for all of you.
10 REASONS WHY ANY SPORT,ESPECIALLY FOOTBALL, IS BETTER THAN SOCCER.

1.Soccer (and yes,I have played) is for the AVERAGE athlete (or below
average...whatever). You don't have to be fast or big or coordinated or
smart. Actually, you simply have to be alive in order to play effectively.
Soccer players are usually the guys who couldn't make the cut in other
sports. The fastest soccer player in the Premier League of ANY country would
get toasted by the fastest man in the NFL. No contest.

2.The reason why football players wear protective gear is because they are
BIGGER, STRONGER, and FASTER than rugby and soccer players. If you know
anything about physics, you'd realize that if someone like Ray Lewis hit
anyone in rugby or soccer at full speed without protective gear, he'd most
likely KILL them. The protective gear in the NFL is necessary to protect
life, not because of weakness. Soccer players cry when they trip over
another player.

3.The co-ordination and endurance in football players is light years beyond
the co-ordination in soccer players. Soccer is stop and go, and to say that
it requires superior endurance is akin to using stupidity as a defense.
Anyone who knows soccer knows that the 11 players are divided into
strikers/forwards, midfielders, and defenders. All units are never engaged
in the play at the same time at any point. When the forwards attack the
opposing goal, midfielders provide support, and defenders are further back
RESTING. Vice versa when the defenders are defending, the forwards are
RESTING upfield waiting for the ball to be cleared to them. Midfielders do
the most work (which isn't much anyway). Football requires EVERYONE to
co-ordinate an attack that capitalises on one units strengths to expose and
take advantage of the other unit's weaknesses in order to beat the
opposition, much like a battlefield.

4.Soccer goalies have it easy. Because of it's design and weight, a soccer
ball traveling (and let's use that ABSURD 98mph referance) at 98mph wouldn't
have the ability to do much more than SEVERELY STING if it makes contact
with someone's head. A basketball travelling at that same rate would cause a
severe concussion under the same circumstances. If you can't figure the
results of a puck,baseball, or football under the same circumstances, you're
just stupid. I'd rather have Roberto Carlos fire a penalty kick at my head
than have Randy Johnson fire a fastball at my head ANY DAY!!!

5.All pro sports have groupies....female fans etc. The ones linked to soccer
just happen to be ugly. Example? Chris Webber of the NBA dates Tyra banks,
Sergei Federov of the NHL was once married to Anna Kournikova, Derek Jeter
of MLB once dated Mariah Carey.........David Beckham? He married one of the
freakin' Spice Girls. What's scarier is that british people think that she's
attractive. Go figure.

6.I love the inference that pro football players (or any american pro
athlete for that matter) is illiterate, uneducated, and involved in drug
abuse. I have 2 words for all of you: Diego Marradona, who, coincidentally,
had to CHEAT in order to win the World Cup.

7.Soccer is the "Most popular sport(?) in the world simply because it's the
LEAST expensive to play. All one has to do is look at the economic status of
most countries worldwide to understand that. Hell, if you have 5 rocks or
five cans(4 to make each goal and one to kick) then you've got a game!
Soccer isn't popular because it gained acceptance, soccer is popular because
most countries, underdeveloped or otherwise, HAD NO CHOICE but to accept it.
Just to prove how ridiculous that argument is, people were running
competetivly long before soccer originated, so why isn't marathon running or
sprinting(individual or relay) the most popular sports in the world?

8. The violent influences of soccer: Saddam Hussein torturing the Iraqi
World Cup team after their loss to the U.S., fans killing fans in England
and Ireland during and after games, fans killing referees after their team
loses.....and you say football is violent?

9. To all of you IDIOTS who talk about the commercial aspect of american
football, you must be too damn drunk and high to have noticed the sideline
banners and the players jersey's during a premiership game.

10. I'm gonna finish this off by defending basketball. A basketball is
bigger than a soccerball, yet the net/goal is smaller(18 inches in
diameter). A soccer goal is 8 feet tall and eight yards wide. Now, somebody
explain to me how a Pro basketball player can shoot a basketball from up to
25 feet out through an 18 inch-wide hole, yet the best of soccer players
have trouble consistantly kicking a ball into a 192 square foot net? 192
SQUARE FEET!!!!!!! Who's un-coordinated?????

When you soccer lovers can find me a soccer player faster than Terrell
Owens, stronger than Ray Lewis, bigger than Michael Strahan, with more
coordination than Marshall Faulk and more heart than Brett Favre, then you can compare the sport and the athletes to the NFL. British people are just mad because the smart ones came over on the Mayflower. Words of w isdom:
purc hase a "Hooked on Phonics" program, learn how to spell "ASS", and try to produce athletes better than Eddie "The Eagle". On the positive side, you English make one hell of a muffin!!!

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